When the Heavens Draw Near
One of my earliest memories of Ramadan goes back to when I was about six or seven years old. It was the night of Khatam al-Quran at our local mosque, the 27th night of Ramadan.
My ami had laid out a beautiful black-and-blue polka-dot shalwar kameez for me to wear. I remember feeling excited because that night I would be going with my abu to the masjid for the first time. I had been told that I would recite Surah Ikhlas, and if I did well, I might even get mithai. (Though in reality, everyone was going to get mithai that night anyway, as it was Khatam al-Quran night 😊.)
What I remember most, though, is walking into the masjid holding my abu’s hand and looking up at the lights illuminating the entrance, almost in a quiet trance.
I don’t remember how I recited.
I don’t remember if I recited well.
I don’t even remember if I got the mithai.
But I remember the walk.
The lights.
The feeling of the night.
The quiet excitement in the air.
That memory has stayed with me all these years. And whenever the last ten nights of Ramadan arrive, the excitement of that little girl in the polka-dot shalwar returns just as vividly as that evening long ago.
The Nights of Quiet Competition
As I grew a little older, Laylatul Qadr began to feel different in our home.
My sisters and I would start preparing for the last odd nights of Ramadan with the kind of excitement only children can have. We would clean the room we planned to pray in, carefully lay out our jainamaz, and ask ami a zillion times what extra we should read to earn more reward that night.
“How many rak‘ahs should we pray?”
“How much Quran should we read?”
“What dua should we make?”
Then the quiet competition would begin.
We would sit side by side, each of us trying to read a little more Quran, make a little more dhikr, and stay awake just a little longer than the others.
Not out of pride.
But out of a sincere desire to earn more sawab.
It was a competition of goodness.
A competition of hearts trying to reach Allah.
Looking back now, I realize how rare and beautiful that kind of competition was. In a world where people compete over so many things, those nights were about competing in something sacred.
Those whispered dhikr, those sleepy recitations of Quran, and those quiet prayers beside my sisters remain some of the most cherished memories of Ramadan.
A Night Among Friends
Years later, in California, I attended a women’s qiyam night with my dear friends.
Driving to the masjid in the wee hours of the night and then making dhikr together for hours felt like something entirely different. It was peaceful and deeply serene. There was something comforting about sitting among friends, quietly remembering Allah together in the stillness of the night.
Different places.
Different stages of life.
Yet always the same sacred nights.
And slowly I began to realize something beautiful.
Laylatul Qadr had quietly been accompanying me through every stage of my life.
Some nights pass quietly.
But some nights stay with us for a lifetime.
What Is Laylatul Qadr?
Laylatul Qadr is the holiest night of Ramadan, known as the Night of Decree.
Laylatul Qadr is the most sacred night in the Islamic calendar and falls during the last ten nights of Ramadan. It marks the night when the Quran first began to be revealed to the Prophet Muhammad (pbuh). The Quran tells us that this single night is better than a thousand months, making it one of the most spiritually powerful moments of the entire year.
Allah describes it in Surah Al-Qadr:
إِنَّآ أَنزَلْنَـٰهُ فِى لَيْلَةِ ٱلْقَدْرِ
وَمَآ أَدْرَىٰكَ مَا لَيْلَةُ ٱلْقَدْرِ
لَيْلَةُ ٱلْقَدْرِ خَيْرٌۭ مِّنْ أَلْفِ شَهْرٍ
تَنَزَّلُ ٱلْمَلَـٰٓئِكَةُ وَٱلرُّوحُ فِيهَا بِإِذْنِ رَبِّهِم مِّن كُلِّ أَمْرٍ
سَلَـٰمٌ هِىَ حَتَّىٰ مَطْلَعِ ٱلْفَجْرِ
Indeed, We sent the Quran down during the Night of Decree.
And what can make you know what is the Night of Decree?
The Night of Decree is better than a thousand months.
The angels and the Spirit descend therein by permission of their Lord for every matter.
Peace it is until the emergence of dawn.
(Qur’an 97:1–5)
One night.
Better than a thousand months.
More than eighty years of worship contained within a single night.
On this night, the angels descend, mercy spreads across the earth, and the destinies of the coming year unfold by the permission of Allah.
Yet Allah, in His wisdom, did not reveal the exact night.
Instead, He placed it within the last ten nights of Ramadan, inviting us to seek it again and again.
If tonight were Laylatul Qadr, what would you ask Allah for?
A Sacred Night at Home
Another memory surfaces for me from the years when my children were still very young.
It was one of the nights of qiyam during the last ten days of Ramadan, in the quiet hours before dawn. Many people were heading to the masjid, but my children were still too small for such late nights outside the home.
So we stayed in.
I gathered them close and told them that tonight was a special night, and that they could simply repeat “Allah… Allah…” as their dhikr.
We sat together in the dim quiet of the night.
At one point I closed my eyes for a moment, letting the stillness settle over us.
When I opened them again, one of them had already fallen asleep, resting gently against my lap. The other was trying his best to stay awake, his head slowly nodding up and down, fighting sleep but still whispering his dhikr.
There was something incredibly peaceful in that moment.
So quiet.
So beautiful.
In that small corner of our home, without stepping foot outside, it felt as though something sacred had descended there too.
A simple, ordinary night had quietly turned into something deeply blessed.
And it reminded me of something important:
Laylatul Qadr is not only found in grand gatherings or crowded mosques.
Sometimes it finds us right where we are.
In a quiet home.
In the stillness of the night.
In a whispered Allah… Allah from a sleepy child.
Sometimes before a night like Laylatul Qadr arrives, the heart itself needs a quiet realignment. Earlier this Ramadan, I wrote a reflection about how our hearts slowly drift and how Ramadan gently brings us back. You can read it here: Ramadan Reflection: Returning to Allah.
How to Seek Laylatul Qadr
Laylatul Qadr does not require perfection. It requires presence.
You do not need elaborate plans or long lists of worship to make the night meaningful. Even small acts done sincerely carry immense weight.
Spend the night:
• praying a few extra rakahs
• reciting or listening to the Quran
• making dhikr quietly
• sitting in reflection
• raising your hands in dua
One of the most beloved du‘ās for this night was taught by the Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) to Hazrat Aisha:
اللَّهُمَّ إِنَّكَ عَفُوٌّ تُحِبُّ الْعَفْوَ فَاعْفُ عَنِّي
(Allahumma innaka ‘afuwwun tuhibbul ‘afwa fa‘fu ‘anni)
O Allah, You are Most Forgiving and You love to forgive, so forgive me.
Sometimes the most powerful worship is simply sitting with Allah in the quiet of the night and speaking to Him honestly.
About your worries.
Your hopes.
Your regrets.
Your dreams.
The Night That Stays With Us
Laylatul Qadr is not only about reward.
It is about return.
It is about the quiet moments when the heart turns back to Allah.
Perhaps Laylatul Qadr is not only the night written in the heavens, but the night quietly written into our hearts.
And that may be why some memories of Ramadan never fade.
Because on those nights, something sacred touches the soul.
And long after Ramadan passes, the memory remains.
What is your most cherished memory of Laylatul Qadr?
If this reflection reminded you of someone or a moment close to your heart, feel free to share it with them.
So as the last ten nights approach, enter them with hope.
Seek the night.
Raise your hands in dua
Sit in remembrance.
And perhaps years from now, when Ramadan comes again, one of these nights will return to you as a memory you carry for the rest of your life.
A night when the world grew quiet.
A night when your heart spoke to its Creator.
A night when the heavens opened
…..and you were there to receive what Allah had written for you🌙
— In Search of Sukoon